Kick Ass Call-in Shift

I was given today off. I got up late and decided to take the hour and a half drive to the closest shopping center. I walked into JcPenny's My eyes all lit up at the 70%off signs everywhere... and my phone rings. Ginger is sick. Javiar doesn't want Bud for whatever reason. And can I be there by the time the dining room is open. I grit my teeth say of course and pack in my shopping spree. I swear quietly to myself all the way home.

Get to work with ten minutes to spare. Look at the map. I have a seven, a six, three deuces. And one open table at first seating and two on the second. I'm going to have some business. My tables are fine. I have a couple bottles of '91 Bordeaux that goes out to my seven top that I decant. My six top are drinkers. Makers and diet tall. I'm off to a pretty good start. The kitchen is moving, my tables are paced out perfectly. It's smooth, I feel good. And then Javiar tells me that my Far Niente VIP table is coming in. This is one of 'my' tables. I take them, Always. They have two hundred dollar bottles of wine. They like me. Usually it's the couple and maybe two other people. Tonight they're seven. Javiar tells me that they probably won't be going for the expensive wine because they're a larger party. They sit down and I begin by pointing out the changes to my wine list to the man. And I jokingly tell him that the Beverage Director tried to take away his wine but I revolted and made him leave it on. He loves this and immediately orders. As I'm decanting the Cab the guy sitting next to him says... "hey we get a show with the wine". Oh, yeah It's Woody Harrelson. Who by the way is a Vegan. I got the Chef to make him a three course meal without using any dairy or meat products. His girlfriend looked to be about nineteen years old but, she was completely sweet. As was Mr. Cheers bartender himself.

My VIP guy was trying to impress so I sold four hundred dollars worth of wine. My table next to them asked me if I could get our piano player to play the Cheers theme song. I explain that there are rules. I'm not allowed to call any one by name, ask for autographs or show that I recognize them.

I had a moment of panic when one of the other guys grabs the check. VIP Guy never has sticker shock the $750 bill wouldn't phase him. He always leaves me twenty percent. I've seen him go over a grand four three people and he still leaves me twenty.

Old Dog in the back feels that they should leave at least two hundred bucks. I explain that they're a solid twenty percent but usually not much over. But, they're famous right? They should leave more. I walk away. As predicted VIP Guy pays, leaves his twenty percent writes down the name of a bottle of wine I had last week and says 'see ya later'.

Old Dog says that the tip was shitty. I respond with, "next time you can take them and see how much they leave you". She shuts up. Reminds me that I'm supposed to show her how to decant wine... again.

I had an awesome night. Granted Woody Harrelson is not Philip Seymour Hoffman but, I sold good wine had nice tables and had perfect service, the kitchen was smooth. Not one problem came up. Can't ask for more than that. Javiar is trading me a day off so, he promises no matter what I can take Monday to myself. Not a bad night for a day off.

So, let's see.. my tally of famous folks.

Eugene Levy
Richard Dreyfus
Robin Williams
Arnold Schwarzenager (spelling? i'm not googling it)
the Baldwin brothers
Candace Bergman
Bruce Willis
All of the Republican governers. That was acually kind of scary. Me, in a room with fifty republican politicians.... My aunt laughed her ass off when I told her that Jeb Bush was drinking granny wine.
and the musicians that did the Hotel California song.